New Moms....

So many of our friends have had children recently. I sent an email out about an article I read about Mommy's finding Mommy time in their weeks. It is so hard, but the email was so true. Anyone that knows me knows I struggled right after I had Addison. I was so distant from her. I loved her, yes, but it wasn't that mushy, cuddlely, snugglely love.... I didn't rush home from work to be with her every night. Instead, I went to the gym. I would delayed going home as long as possible.... Sounds horrible, I know..... I have since learned, and feel like I have made great strides....

But, in the past two weeks, I have come to realize, that it might not have been just me.... What I mean is this - Jackson has been sick lately. At first he was just teething, and then it progressed... Staying up all night, not napping, me staying home from work to watch him, etc. It has been rough. He doesn't want to be put down at all. Anyone who has laid eyes on Jackson knows this is SOOOO not him. He is the most laid back and chill baby ever. He is a good eater normally and loves to sleep. He started sleeping through the night when he was 5 months old.... We were SOOO lucky. Anyway, I got to the point the other day when I just had to get out. I called my mom and asked her to come over after school for an hour. I just couldn't take it anymore. I felt for the first time ever with him that I could not hold him another second.... I feel like many first time mom's with difficult babies go through this. What I just described in a nut shell was Addison. She NEVER slept, she didn't want to eat, and was constantly sick. It was horrible for about the first 9 months. I honestly don't know how Edgar and I did it (and then wanted more kids....)

Anyway, I hope all moms know that while we aren't perfect, we need time to get be alone without demanding children. And they are so demanding. Now, I am not advicating going to the gym after work, because in hindsight, that was selfish, I could have worked her into my exercising like I do now with both of them, but time away is what the doctor calls for. I often talk to Edgar about if I had been a little more relaxed and if she weren't such a difficult baby, would I still feel like I wasn't the best mom the first year of her life.

I talked to my priest about having pent up frustration with how I acted that first year. And even though he is a man, he is such a wise man..... He said by knowing I did wrong and improving it, is what matters - not the mistakes. This is how God looks at our lives and our mistakes as well..... Anyway, to all you knew mothers, and women thinking of being a mother - I am thinking of you. And the first year is the roughest anyway, after that, it is smooth sailing. I never thought I would love just being with my little monkies as I do. Addison told me the other day that I was her "best friend". Now, could you ever beat that???

Addison went to Princesses on Ice!

Addison went with my parent's to see the Disney Princesses on Ice this past weekend! She had a wonderful time - Pop (whom if anyone knows my daddy knows he is about the cheapest man EVER) sprang for the good seats for his "Sweetie Pie" and she enjoyed every minute!

We are home this week as Jackson is sick. I don't mind so much, I didn't get to take time off with Addison when she was sick, so it is nice to have both of my love bugs home all week.

New York

We had such a wonderful time in NY..... Hopefully Edgar and I can go back sometime soon without kids and do the romantic tour of the city! The picture of Addison is at the Bronx Zoo - she was showing the toys that she got - one is for her and one is for Jackson! She missed him so much, and he missed her.... He didn't even care when we got home to see Edgar and I, all he wanted was his sissy.....

Sigh......

I have a very "Type A" personality. My husband, does not. That is why we work so well together I believe....

BUT, Right now, my stress level couldn't be higher.... We leave for NY in 4 days. And I have NOTHING packed. Nothing. Yesterday, I finally went to the store to buy Jackson enough food to get him through at my mom's house, but other than that, I am way behind "schedule". I need to do a Sam's run, get dinner's fixed for this week when we are here, get the house cleaned, laundry done, and most importantly, PACK!

Addison could not be more excited about this trip. She doesn't really understand, but will enjoy the time alone with us. I will post pictures of the trip when we return. Wish me luck!

It's like going home....

We took Addison to the GSU game a week ago and she loved it! She is still talking about the Eagles!! And Edgar and I loved it too..... Going to Statesboro holds so many wonderful memories for us - it is where we fell in love and decided to start a life together. Hopefully we will take Addison back soon!

September

Wow, it has been awhile.... We are so busy. I only thought this summer was busy. And it would seem like our travel schedule would slow down with two kids, but Jackson is just so laid back and chill - we pretty much do whatever we want - with him dragging along with us....

Both Addison and Jackson are at Nonny's the three days I work. It has been great. They both love it there, and Jackson has not had one moment of difficulty. Addison is a rock-star at her Gymnastics still. We were going to take a session off, but she threw a fit. And she loves it so much. I hope they move her up to the next level class soon because it is getting almost unbearable for me to take Jackson in the Snuggli. Addison's friend Calvin from Nonny's goes now, as does one of my girlfriends from work and her daughter "Hamryn" (Camryn).

Edgar is still loving work. They keep us busy, that is for sure! We have two firm events in October to attend and he is traveling once with them (we are taking this trip off!!). This hardly leaves time for the family and football.

I still greatly enjoy work. My biggest blessing there is my aid, Maggie. Besides being a wonderful friend, she is an inspiration as a woman. She does so much - so much that some don't even realize, and does it all with grace. She is truly a beautiful person and I feel so blessed that she is in my life and is my friend. I had my high school reunion a few weeks ago, and it was AWESOME! It was so wonderful to see so many folks from high school and catch up.

So that is the past month or so in a nut shell. We are going to be so busy coming up - we have a trip to Atlanta planned, a few to Athens, St. Simons for the GA/FLA game, and then taking the kids to NY for a week (and by week I mean 5 days ;-)) I will post some pictures of all of those soon!!

These are the moments....

I have such a wonderful little girl and boy... Although Jackson can't communicate yet like Addison, it is such a joy to just watch him daily... Just today as Addison touched my cheek and said, "I love you, Mama" I thought, this is what life is about... These are the moments that make our lives complete. It is the small moments in life... not the big ones that define us. It is our spouse and a loving touch from them, or the things our children say and in Jackson's case, do. It is our friends, and family. It is the daily lives that we lead that are so precious.

The four of us were riding down the road on Saturday listening to a JoJo's Circus CD that Livvy gave Addison and we had the windows down and it turned up. Out of the blue Addison says, "I happy my DaddyMama" (that is her name for both of us when she is too lazy to say Mommy and Daddy). I thought I might just pass out with joy - they pick up on the neatest things and a moment like that makes me feel complete and as if all of the not so great moments in life are worth it..... I hope my sweet peanut will always tell her DaddyMama that she is happy.......